Zoom Like a Responsible Adult

Zoom is our world now. All hail Zoom. There is no anything; there is only Zoom. Having said that, it [...]

Trim Your Waist While Sheltering-in-Place

Okay, look. We’ll be honest. We’ve picked up some bad habits since the coronavirus locked us all in our houses. [...]

Grow Some Plants, Okay?

You can do it. No, we’re serious. No, we’re SERIOUS. Listen to us. LISTEN. Okay? Listen. You can grow a [...]

Buy Yourself a House

Oh, you still rent? Cool story, BABY. Real adults buy real estate, and it’s high time you learned the ins [...]

Get a Job and Keep It, Part 2: Keep It

In the epic conclusion of our inaugural two-part episode on being gainfully employed so you can buy whiskey and chips, [...]

Get a Job and Keep It, Part 1: Get a Job

We don’t want to brag, but we have jobs. And you can have jobs, too! This week, we’re premiering the [...]

Raise Money for a Good Cause

Have you ever tried to raise money for a good cause? Boy, it’s hard. It’s like people want to keep [...]

Be Very, Very Good at Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day. Amiright? It’s like the Saw movie franchise of holidays. Because every year or so, you think, “Oh. Wow. [...]

Do Concerts Better

It’s hard to not be a total jackass at a concert. If you’re at the same concert as our new [...]

Be a Better Wedding Guest

When someone else’s wedding bells start ringing, you have just one job. JUST ONE JOB. Don’t. F***. Things. Up. Unfortunately, [...]

Move Without All That Dumb Stress

If you’re a living person who’s alive, you’ve probably moved at least once, and boy, you know that sh*t is [...]

Break Those Bad Habits for Good

The Professors Smith know a thing or two about bad habits. Mostly, they know how to have them. But they’ve [...]

Appreciate Wrestling More. NO, WE’RE BEING SERIOUS!

Skin-tight uniforms. Feathered hair. Blood, sometimes. No, it’s not the seedy underbelly of jazzercise; it’s professional wrestling, and it’s high [...]

Get a Pet, Okay?

You know who loves pets? Literally everyone. You know who doesn’t love pets? Sociopaths, which we understand does detract from [...]

Survive the Robot Uprising

We thought we wouldn’t have to worry about the robot apocalypse for at LEAST five or six more years. But [...]

Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day Without Throwing Up On Everything

In one of our timeless, instant-classic holiday episodes, we talk about the pitfalls of St. Patrick’s Day, including not-awful alternatives [...]

Get a Massage, and Don’t Be Weird About It

Massages are supposed to be relaxing…so why do they give us so much anxiety? This week, the Smiths take on [...]

Handle Credit Card Debt Like a Real Hotshot

We got a letter from a listener who wanted to know just how scared he should be about getting his [...]

Face Winter Weather Like a Grown-Up Hero

It’s cold. It is just unbelievably, and endlessly, cold. Unless you live somewhere warm, in which case, we politely invite [...]

Bear and Raise Children Without Causing Irreparable Harm

The decision to become a parent is a big one. There’s a lot to consider, like “Will I cause accidental [...]

Disneyland Like an Adult

It’s hard to really appreciate Disneyland when you’re a kid, and when you’re a parent, it’s like, ugh, now I [...]

Be a Better Valentine. Or Don’t. We Don’t Really Care.

[FAIR WARNING, this episode gets more explicit than most, in some really strange and surprising ways. But don’t blame us. [...]

Get a Room of Your Own

Look, we can’t all just be in everyone else’s space, like, all the time. Sometimes we have to get away [...]

Behave Yourself at the Bar

It’s hard to behave well at the bar. We know it’s not your fault, it’s alcohol’s fault. Almost everything is [...]

Unlock the Secrets of Secret Menus That are Secret

Pssst. Hey, you. Do you like food? SHHHH! Not so loud! We’re talking secret menus on the podcast this week…we’re [...]

Avoid the Emergency Room Like a Responsible Adult

Look, is it easy to keep yourself from sticking power drills through your palm flesh? No. But is it important [...]

Kiss Those New Year’s Resolutions Goodbye

This week, the Smiths dispute the supposed “merits” of New Year’s resolutions and ask that age-old question: “Why don’t we [...]

Capture Santa for Your Own Selfish Purposes

Setting a trap for Santa Claus is a Christmas Eve tradition as old as time itself. In this episode, the [...]

Contribute to Christmas Dinner Like a Champ

This week, the Smiths are going all in on this whole “family” thing by making the bold suggestion that it’s [...]

Face Your Family Like a Holiday Hero

The holidays are nothing if not the perfect time to practice your latest political diatribes and hygiene-related insults. BUT ALLOW [...]

Decorate for the Holidays Like a Serious Real Person

Some people think decorating for the holidays is easy, and that’s absolutely correct. Tape some Christmas lights to your couch, [...]

Communicate with Laser-Like Focus

Look, let’s face it: Communication is hard. And it’s not made any easier by the fact that digital platforms give [...]

Get Some GD Culture

Culture is the sweet-ass spice of life that makes it worth living. Shakespeare said that. Or maybe it was Gandhi. [...]

De-Stress Already

Boy, stress is sure awful. Not only does it cause anxiety, but, as the Smiths learned this week, it can [...]

Handle Ghosts Like a GD Boss

Ghosts are a part of a real adult’s everyday life. Don’t believe us? Give the Smiths a chance to change [...]

Halloween Better

Look, there are a lot of seriously awful Halloween costume ideas out there. This week, with the help of Shannon [...]

Throw a Swanky Cocktail Party

This week, we bring on a surprisingly high-end guest, Percy Rodriguez, who has worked in wine, cocktails, and mixology with [...]

Curse with some F’ing Gravitas

In our very first episode, college professors Clayton Smith and Ryan Smith teach you how to curse like a GD [...]