Author Archives: Ryan Smith

You can do it. No, we’re serious. No, we’re SERIOUS. Listen to us. LISTEN. Okay? Listen. You can grow a plant. We believe in you. Yes, we know that you’ve killed every living thing you’ve ever put into a pot, but don’t worry, this time you can do it. And you don’t have to make […]

Oh, you still rent? Cool story, BABY. Real adults buy real estate, and it’s high time you learned the ins and outs of being a major property mogul. It’s like being a property brother, but usually you’re shorter, and not a twin. WHO’S READY?

In the epic conclusion of our inaugural two-part episode on being gainfully employed so you can buy whiskey and chips, we share some hot takes on how to not be a terrible co-worker…then we’re once again joined by our friend Val, who talks about office pranks, workplace romance, how to flame out of your job […]

We don’t want to brag, but we have jobs. And you can have jobs, too! This week, we’re premiering the first part of our two-part episode on getting and keeping that good, good job. First up: How to make a resume that doesn’t suck and how to conduct yourself in an interview, featuring our friend […]

Have you ever tried to raise money for a good cause? Boy, it’s hard. It’s like people want to keep their own money in their own wallets because they don’t know how much joy it would bring you to raise three more dollars. Well, we’re here to help! This week, we talk about some of […]

Mother’s Day. Amiright? It’s like the Saw movie franchise of holidays. Because every year or so, you think, “Oh. Wow. Is there another one of those? I forgot about that. But it’s definitely there, isn’t it?” And you know what? IT IS. Because Mother’s Day is just relentless. AND IT WANTS TO PLAY A GAME.This […]

It’s hard to not be a total jackass at a concert. If you’re at the same concert as our new favorite listener, Jamie from Kansas, that is. Following Jamie’s very strict orders, we explain the best way to not suck at a concert, and to be honest? We pretty much nail it.

When someone else’s wedding bells start ringing, you have just one job. JUST ONE JOB. Don’t. F***. Things. Up. Unfortunately, ruining someone else’s wedding is easier than you might think. Just ask Ryan, who tried preeeeeeetty dang hard to ruin Clayton’s first wedding. NICE TRY, SMITH. This week is all about being a better wedding […]

If you’re a living person who’s alive, you’ve probably moved at least once, and boy, you know that sh*t is the absolute worst. And it only gets harder as your friends get older and realize the economics of receiving payment in pizza and beer are some next-level nonsense. But not to worry! The Smiths have […]

The Professors Smith know a thing or two about bad habits. Mostly, they know how to have them. But they’ve also done a very light amount of reading up on how to theoretically break them, and now they want to save you that ten minutes of Googling with a 25-minute podcast! We’re about 82% sure […]

Skin-tight uniforms. Feathered hair. Blood, sometimes. No, it’s not the seedy underbelly of jazzercise; it’s professional wrestling, and it’s high time you got on board! Ryan breaks down the finer points of pro wrestling, including blood, nudity, and draaaamaaaaaa! And the guys give some pretty overall decent advice on how to dip your toe in […]

You know who loves pets? Literally everyone. You know who doesn’t love pets? Sociopaths, which we understand does detract from our statement about everyone loving pets, but it’s important to not always split hairs. This week, the Professors Smith discuss the importance of pets, and then they rank the best and worst pets ever, because […]

We thought we wouldn’t have to worry about the robot apocalypse for at LEAST five or six more years. But between laughing Alexa, stripper-bots, and all the inexplicably ill-informed madness happening at the stupid idiot labs of Boston Dynamics, we can’t put it off any longer. The robots are coming, and we need to get […]

In one of our timeless, instant-classic holiday episodes, we talk about the pitfalls of St. Patrick’s Day, including not-awful alternatives to awful green beer and the history of Druids and Irish ghosts. It’s a pretty stellar episode. Turn up your ears and learn how to celebrate St. Paddy’s Day like a real grown-up adult person!

Massages are supposed to be relaxing…so why do they give us so much anxiety? This week, the Smiths take on the many discomforts of getting naked with a stranger and saying, “Put your hands all over me.” They teach you how to overcome any massage-related issue, and they’ve got some pretty good advice about saunas, […]

We got a letter from a listener who wanted to know just how scared he should be about getting his first solo credit card. And boy, did we run with that. In this episode, we talk credit scores, smart strategies for paying down huge debt, and how to get credit card companies to pay YOU! […]

It’s cold. It is just unbelievably, and endlessly, cold. Unless you live somewhere warm, in which case, we politely invite you to just kiss right off. ‘Cause we’re cold. Just unbelievably, and endlessly, cold. Fortunately, the Smiths have some tips on how to bear the cold weather, and they even visit the fellows from The […]

The decision to become a parent is a big one. There’s a lot to consider, like “Will I cause accidental and irreparable lifelong harm to the emotional state of a real human person?” The Smiths grapple with the challenges and rewards of having babies, along with the help of a very special guest, professional father […]

It’s hard to really appreciate Disneyland when you’re a kid, and when you’re a parent, it’s like, ugh, now I have to go on all the baby rides with my kid, ugh. The best way to go to Disneyland is to go on your own, by your childless self! This week, the Smiths discuss their […]

[FAIR WARNING, this episode gets more explicit than most, in some really strange and surprising ways. But don’t blame us. Blame our guest.] Valentine’s Day is pretty much the worst, and anyone who likes it is dumb. That said, we’ve got some great tips on how to be a better Valentine, and we also have […]

Look, we can’t all just be in everyone else’s space, like, all the time. Sometimes we have to get away into our own little hovels of secrecy and leave-me-aloneness. Those are the places where we can get creative, blow off some steam, or just take a breath surrounded by our very cool Batman figurines THAT […]

It’s hard to behave well at the bar. We know it’s not your fault, it’s alcohol’s fault. Almost everything is alcohol’s fault. But as adults, we should all take steps to be better bar-goers. That doesn’t just mean not getting into fights and not vomiting on the floor (although those are very, very important). Good […]

Pssst. Hey, you. Do you like food? SHHHH! Not so loud! We’re talking secret menus on the podcast this week…we’re giving a whole rundown of who’s who and what’s what in the dark, seedy underbelly of black market foodstuffs, including a whole segment on calming yourself down because what you probably think is a secret […]

Look, is it easy to keep yourself from sticking power drills through your palm flesh? No. But is it important to stop doing that? Heck yes! Emergency room visits are no treat, despite the fact that George Clooney was so dreamy in that one show about ERs, so this week, the Professors Smith are giving […]

This week, the Smiths dispute the supposed “merits” of New Year’s resolutions and ask that age-old question: “Why don’t we just be better, like, all the time?” They’re joined by professional year-round ass-kicker Beth Ryan, who explains the benefits of doing better all year long, not just in January, and she also opens up about […]

Setting a trap for Santa Claus is a Christmas Eve tradition as old as time itself. In this episode, the Smiths discuss the most effective types of Santa traps, as well as how they’d spend their three Christmas wishes, since, when it comes to Santa, genie rules do apply. Well…Clayton discusses these things, really. Ryan […]

This week, the Smiths are going all in on this whole “family” thing by making the bold suggestion that it’s time for you to adult up and bring some homemade goodness to your holiday party. What’s that, you say? “I’m worse at cooking than I am at adulting”? No problem! The professors have some of […]

The holidays are nothing if not the perfect time to practice your latest political diatribes and hygiene-related insults. BUT ALLOW YOURSELF A MOMENT TO DREAM! What if you could go home for the holidays and NOT leave all bruised, bloodied, and emotionally broken? This week, the Smiths tackle the tough topic of how to handle […]

Some people think decorating for the holidays is easy, and that’s absolutely correct. Tape some Christmas lights to your couch, and you’re all set! Well, that’s what the Professors Smith thought, anyway. But then Hollis Scarborough of Silvercreek Creative came along and blew their minds to Christmas pieces. She shares her next-level holiday decorating tips […]

Look, let’s face it: Communication is hard. And it’s not made any easier by the fact that digital platforms give us a pretty good GD excuse to say things to people without having to actually talk to them. But it’s important to know how to communicate well, because poor communication is the root of fights, […]

Culture is the sweet-ass spice of life that makes it worth living. Shakespeare said that. Or maybe it was Gandhi. Or maybe Axl Rose? Look, it doesn’t matter. Culture is important, and we’re diving brain-first into our new Get Some GD Culture series with a look at the business of show. It’s time to get […]

Boy, stress is sure awful. Not only does it cause anxiety, but, as the Smiths learned this week, it can lead to sudden and nigh-inexplicable death. Just absolute, total death. So join the guys as they dive into the wonderful world of de-stressing and share some great tips on how to relax your mind with […]

Ghosts are a part of a real adult’s everyday life. Don’t believe us? Give the Smiths a chance to change your mind. Don’t believe them? Well, that’s valid. But maybe Neil Tobin, Necromancer will help convince you. With Neil’s help, Clayton and Ryan talk about their own experiences with ghosts (or not-ghosts, depending on where […]

Look, there are a lot of seriously awful Halloween costume ideas out there. This week, with the help of Shannon Downey from Badass Cross Stitch, the Smiths navigate the landmine of bad choices, from the lame to the offensive, and throw out a few pretty great 2017 costumes ideas like a couple of GD geniuses

This week, we bring on a surprisingly high-end guest, Percy Rodriguez, who has worked in wine, cocktails, and mixology with some pretty impressive chefs, including Mario Batali and Laurent Tourondel. With Percy’s cocktail guidance, we dive into the grown-up world of luxurious liquors and talk about the finer points of hosting a real swanky-ass cocktail […]

In our very first episode, college professors Clayton Smith and Ryan Smith teach you how to curse like a GD adult so your parents don’t have to.